Happy 200 Posts! Come join the party


It’s a sedate party, I admit. But the canapes are delish.

There are two themes to this fairly open thread: How I Came to Be Me and Your Favorite Posts

It’s funny, but way back when I began typing little theories about human behavior into my graphing calculator during highschool math, I had no idea that the whole topic matter was taboo. Actually, I didn’t even believe in evolution back then–at least, I was pretty sure that evolution was a thing that Christians were not supposed to believe in. Nebraska Man and all that, you know. So I didn’t think of my theories as having anything to do with evolution, just “things that made sense.”

I remember one of them, on the symbolic/physical importance of sharing food among friends. For me to take some of my food and give it to you both helps ensure your continued existence, and decreases my my chances of existing. To give a friend a french fry or cookie from one’s own lunch tray was a sign of valuing the friend’s life enough to be willing to risk a threat to one’s own life to help the friend. This was the symbolism, I wrote, underneath both the importance of ritual food sharing with strangers–bread and salt in Russia, the inviting of people to tea or dinner–and more elevatedly, Eucharistic communion itself: the giving of Christ’s literal life, blood and body in the breaking of bread and giving of it to his disciples, ensuring their lives continued by ending his own.

Years later, when highschool days had largely faded from my mind, I was reminded rather vividly of this essay when a new Jewish friend promptly escorted me to their home and set out a kosher dinner, a good portion of which was bread.

Since this is my party, help yourself to the metaphorical bread and salt, wine and cheese. Or coffee, if you prefer.

But back to our story. I somehow passed highschool bio and got into college, despite being more or less a Creationist, where I did all of the normal college things. Alas, college is wasted on the young. Eventually I read a book on human evolution and decided that the book sounded a lot more sensible than that anti-evolution video they’d shown us once in Sunday School. The last chapter of the book–sadly, I no longer remember the title–wasn’t about bones and teeth and people trying to figure out which skeletons were hoaxes, but the evolution of human families in which grandparents exist. Now, sure, all that business about australopithecines sounded reasonable enough, but that last chapter blew me away: a complex emergent behavior / idea-thing like a family could also have been created by evolutionary adaptation.

At the time, I considered myself a liberal of the most upstanding character. I did all of the good liberal things–feminist, pro-trans, fat acceptance, LGBQ friendly, Pagan friendly, anti-war, anti-meat, anti-racism, anarchist, etc.

Then came Facebook and similar systems. Since I like debating politics, I tried to write entertaining essays for my friends, and promptly lost most of my friends. I also got kicked out of my feminist community for some trivial bullshit–I think I posted a response to another poster in the wrong section of a message board.

Now, I am not stranger to internet flame wars, but by this time, the whole business was starting to grate. Friends who were basically on the same side of the political system ought to be able to discuss political details without antagonism or declaring that the other person is secretly evil. At the very least, there ought to be some trust that your friends have good hearts and are trying hard. But I lacked some of the meta-level understanding of what was going on in liberalism necessary to safely traverse these waters–for example, I thought pretty much all liberals accepted evolution as true. It turns out that they only believe in evolution when conservatives are around. Among themselves, they deny that humans have “instincts” or that gender exists, and insist that the application of evolutionary theory to the study of human behavior is actually evil.

Then something major happened: I had a kid.

I lost friends over that, too, but I realized several important things:

  1. Childbirth is absolutely horrific.
  2. There is no possible way the differences in the amount of energy/risk men and women entail to reproduce could not cause different evolutionary pressures that would lead to different optimal mating strategies.
  3. Feminist claims that parents teach their children gender roles are total bullshit.
  4. Gender is mostly nature, not nurture.
  5. Natural childbirth is a horrible idea (for the record, c-sections are also horrible and the recovery is worse.)
  6. People politicize a bunch of issues that should not be politicized.

Something non-political also happened: the baby got sick. After a week of especially sleepless nights, I figured out what was wrong and how to fix it. I remember that moment, the sudden energy that came over me: NO ONE was going to stand between me and helping my child.

When feminists speak of “empowering” women, this is the feeling they mean. The feeling that you will do whatever the hell it takes to accomplish your objectives, and no one and nothing will stop you. I don’t think you can “empower” someone. It comes from within. It comes from the evolutionary urge to protect your children.

As it turned out, no one got in my way and everyone was actually super-helpful and the whole business ended well, with a happy, healthy child. Luckily my husband is an upstanding fellow who loves his children, too. But helpfulness is not one of life’s givens.

Around this time, the whole SJW movement was picking up steam, and the “privilege” concept became an unexpected sticking point. I thought the idea was basically nonsense, and said so. I later came across a conversation between–I thought–a friend and one of my best friends. “EvolutionistX isn’t worth talking to,” said the best friend.

I didn’t break up with liberalism. Liberalism broke up with me.

It had become increasingly obvious to me that the people in these feminist and SJW communities weren’t just wrong on a few issues, but that many of them were deeply psychologically disturbed, and the politics had become a cover/excuse/justification for not getting help and dealing with their issues. Many of them, to be frank, were disconnected from reality, and pointing out that physical facts contradicted them (I don’t mean totally controversial theories like evolution, but just basic stuff,) resulted in anything from banning to death threats. Unfortunately, the memeplex was becoming increasingly dominant, infecting communities that had nothing to do with politics and were officially apolitical.

By this point, I’d learned to just keep my mouth shut, and found some new things to do with my time. My husband introduced me to Jayman’s blog, and I read every word of it. Same for Evo and Proud, the sadly defunct Neuropolitics, and West Hunter. These guys are awesome. I learned so much anthropology I hadn’t learned in anthropology class, without the post-modern bullshit and constant negativity that had infected academia. I was still vaguely afraid of talking, but at least I had some good reading material.

Shortly after, I beheld, with terrifying clarity, the abyss. Suddenly I understood why liberals hate HBD and ev psych.

My break with the left came over an obscure case: protests surrounding the death of Marshall Coulter, a teenager who climbed over a homeowner’s 6-foot fence at 2 am and then got shot in the head.


The elites will always defend the bullies.

Now, I understand that there are some innocent excuses for being in someone’s yard at 2 am, like being so drunk that you think you’re at your own home when you aren’t, or jumping a fence for a dare, with no intention of committing any harm. But it remains, like driving 120 miles per hour or poking bears, an activity that I regard has having a very high chance of killing you, and you should not do if you do not accept those risks. You certainly do not blame the bear for eating you after you poke it.

Likewise, if you act like you are breaking into someone’s house in the middle of the night, the natural and only reasonable consequence is that home owner (or resident) kills you.

Salon weighed in, with an article about what a sweet kid Marshall was.

Protestors weighed in, claiming that Marshall was just an innocent kid who hadn’t done anything wrong and didn’t deserve to die, demanding that the homeowner (who was being charged with attempted murder) be, well, charged with attempted murder.

In fact, Marshall already had a criminal past before he got shot in 2014:

  • October 2009: disturbing the peace
  • November 2012: criminal trespassing
  • December 2012: disturbing the peace
  • December 2012: burglary of an inhabited dwelling
  • March 2013: possession of stolen things and theft
  • April 2013: possession of marijuana

Ironically, the police had actually been discussing Marshall as a possible suspect in a string of recent burglaries the day before he was shot trying to burglarize someone’s house.

The attempted homicide charges were only dropped against the homeowner because Marshall recovered enough from the bullet in his head to get arrested for three more crimes:


During the Trayvon Martin case, I had understood how someone could hear the story of a teenager walking home with a pack of Skittles and think that a great injustice had been done. This case had no such ambiguities. I realized the left had abandoned liberalism, in every traditional sense of the word. This was not about freedom; this was an explicit denial of the right of self-defense against someone intent on harming you, at least if you were white and they were black.

Every betrayal suddenly made sense. The meta-politics became clear. I felt like I finally understood everything, and I leapt into the abyss.

Around this time, my husband found Moldbug’s Open Letter to Open-Minded Progressives, and I wandered into Slate Star Codex. All of the words I’d been holding in began spilling out, in a torrent, so I made this blog.

A friend of mine (if you’re reading this, hi!) had kept telling me that life is too short to worry about assholes. If I had to walk on eggshells around my other “friends,” then they weren’t my friends and I should get new friends.

Sage advice.

So here we are, 200 posts in, and people actually like my blog.

Thanks for reading, guys. I hope you like the next 200 posts.


I’m going to open up the floor. Tell me your stories, ask questions, or just chat. And if you feel like it, tell me your favorite posts for inclusion in the sidebar.

22 thoughts on “Happy 200 Posts! Come join the party

  1. Great origin story, EvX. I hope you keep blogging.

    It’s easy to see how Moldy radicalized you against the left. But maybe you could say more about SSC. I mean, I read SSC too, so I am not surprised that you read it, just that you seem to be suggesting it helped your journey to the right. Was it reading reactionary comments there? I think Alexander will join the neoreaction eventually, because he’s already a crimethinker and pretty sane, whereas the left is going to get crazier. But the left has not gone totally crazy yet, and he’s still on the left, and has left friends, and wants to be left. Pretty strong anchors.


    • I’ve been reading Jayman and talking to my husband the longest, so they deserve most of the credit.

      I’ve recently discovered that a large number of people I know in real life but haven’t been in contact with lately are reading SSC. I’m still not sure whether to be amused or weirded out.

      Scott is good at putting vague notions into words; his work helped me finally articulate a lot of stuff. I consider SSC NRx for beginners; Scot walks up to the edge of the abyss, acknowledges it, then backs away. This is a feature of his personality; he comes across as just a really nice person who doesn’t want to think mean things.

      What about you?


  2. Like you, childbirth and having a child events that left my sight clearer and pushed me into viewpoints similar to yours. The process of pregnancy and childbirth left me temporarily disabled, and the newborn and 1st year sleep deprivation led me to some really dark places. I really just can’t say enough how brutal the first year of my child’s life was for me, and it made me VERY VERY aware of the obvious differences between men and women and my utter dependence on the former during that time. Fortunately times are much better for me now. I find that I identify with your words quite often, even down to writing long paragraphs on our graphing calculators whilst bored in school (I suspect we’re similar in age).


    • *Piles extra chocolates on your plate* I’m sorry you had such a horrible time. I understand what you mean.

      When I could barely move and my husband brought me food, I thought, “How on earth could anyone think this isn’t an evolutionary arrangement? I’d be starving if it weren’t for him!” And I own a microwave.

      Graphing calculators :)


  3. For me it was the day I had sick leave from school in the third grade. I was left all alone, so I turned on the TV which happened to run an educational broadcast about highschool grade genetics. Basics of the basics, Gregor Mendel and his square. I was hooked since then.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am now baffled. Are you male or female? Unfortunately the english language has no gendered endings like any normal indo-european language in order to know. Have you christian, jewish, or other background? It seems the blog is written from people from different cultural backgrounds. Does the blog has more than one writer? You write like a male and express anti-feminist ideas. Even if you disdain the left, isn’t it in your interest to write about gender equality? Don’t you feel belittled as a person by thinking about your gender in these terms? Don’t you think that people will misunderstand your writing as meaning that you deserve exploitation? I apologize for the possibly offensive comments I made, I thought you were a man.
    ps 1. Why does a woman need necessarily a man to survive after childbirth? That might be the state in small, nuclear families, but in polygynous arrangements or in large extended families the men rarely mixed with women’s issues. Simply other women would help the one in pain, as logically they wouldn’t all be in a post-partum state at the same time, and some would be much older.
    ps 2. There in America you still place value on one’s right to protect his family and his property. Sadly here in Europe governments have long ago disarmed their citizens. Now you are much more likely to get in trouble if you kill or harm the intruder rather than the opposite. If you hit for example the intruder, he may be able to sue you for bodily harm and he will get compensation. Horrible state of things indeed.


    • Yes, I am female (and there is only one of me, though I am open to guest posts if anyone wants to write one).

      Don’t worry. Your comments have been thoughtful and appreciated. I am not offended.

      I think most people who wander in here assume I am male because I have an androgynous writing style (IE, I don’t put in a bunch of :) and !!! and pictures of my kids.) This is mostly just how I write, though initially I also wanted to make sure I didn’t sound like I was imitating HBD chick.

      That is really funny about me sounding like multiple people. Which sorts of people?

      I obscure some of my personal details for privacy reasons, but I was raised Christian and hail from the US. (The most recent immigrants I’ve found in my family tree got here in the 1700s, and some of my ancestors were Native American. Genetically, there is no country a majority of my ancestors came from, other than, obviously, the US.)

      I have to go, but I’ll try to answer the rest of your questions later.

      In the meanwhile, what’s your story?


    • Even if you disdain the left, isn’t it in your interest to write about gender equality?
      Equality is a lie. Trying to run society on a lie seems more likely to hurt me than help me, long-term.

      As Kissinger once said, the problem with the battle between the sexes is there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy. My interests aren’t limited to myself and other women; I also have male friends, children, siblings, and other loved ones. What does it benefit me if my pay goes up but my husband’s goes down? If my daughters can get a job, but my sons can’t? If my mother gets a good deal in a divorce but my father gets screwed?

      My fate is linked to the people around me, male and female. Hurting the men ends up hurting me, too.

      Also, people on the “far right”/HBD-osphere have been far more polite to me than the feminists I used to associate with. SJW-death threats get old fast.

      Don’t you feel belittled as a person by thinking about your gender in these terms?
      No. I don’t even really understand why I would. People are people, not averages, and obviously the human species needs both males and females to reproduce and function.

      One of the things Feminists seem not to get about women is that most women actually value being women. They like shopping for clothes, putting on makeup, and giggling together. They like having female-only spaces like sororities or moms’ groups where they can talking about female things. Of course we all love making more money and being told that we’re smart and wonderful and all, but the feminist goal of making women act more like men really isn’t that interesting to most women. Most of us don’t want to be math PhDs or soldiers or professional athletes. We’re women and want to be valued for who we actually are, not told that our instincts are bad and that we’re only valuable if we act like imitation men.

      GTG. Write more later.


    • Sorry about that; as I was saying, this is why PUAs give better dating advice than feminists–PUAs actually try to understand women.

      Don’t you think that people will misunderstand your writing as meaning that you deserve exploitation?
      The notion had honestly not occurred to me. (What does it mean to “deserve exploitation”?) It seems like a bit of a jump from “there are differences, on average, between men and women,” to “therefore women should be enslaved.” (Forgive me if I’ve misunderstood the question.

      Why does a woman need necessarily a man to survive after childbirth?
      You are correct about the other possible family structures. I did not know much (if anything) about them, though, when I made that particular observation many years ago. We may expand the observation to “women who have just given birth are highly dependent on other humans for food, necessitating the evolution of families.”
      I suspect that people/cultures evolve together, such that in areas where monogamy and small families are selected for, humans will evolve to be monogamous, and in areas where polygamy dominates, people will be better suited to polygamy.

      Good luck, friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Evolutiontheorist,
    Sorry for the delay. I was on a climb to the sacred Mount Olympus.

    Yes, initially I was thinking that more than one people managed this blog, though later my perceptions of you changed according to the articles I was reading. I have thought you were a jew, though not religious, even an Asian, a white or Germanic supremacist, or just an American, but never a religious fanatic. I honestly never could think that you could be a woman or a person with non-white/asian ancestry, because such topics are delt mainly by white or asian men. I will try to answer with the order you wrote your sentences.

    Your perspective is different than that of most women. Most women do not think long-term and will do what ever in their power to get it in their pockets, e.g. by destroying men in a divorce. Material possessions are a diachronic concern of women, so we cannot blame solely feminism for that state, but feminism certainly made women’s job easier. I do not know exactly the situation in the Us, but it seems grimmer than in other countries if women can take half of a man’s assets by divorce, as I have read. I do not find any logic to this if women are considered equals and able to earn their money, and still wonder why more conservative states did allow such legislation to pass.

    I was, and still am, under the impression that women feel shame for just being women. I didn’t think they feel comfortable with their sex ever. Centuries-old continuous indoctrination from all these abrahamic religion teachings that a woman must be always shameful, extreme preoccupation around their appearance, ambivalence towards their sexuality, doubt over their achievments, that made me believe that women generally feel below men and that they just accept it over time. I thought for example that by just looking at their thin, less muscular body in comparison to that of men or just observing how many men are in influential positions, they feel inferior, less of a full human etc, and that feminism tried to raise them from this state. Is that true? I am not a woman, and genuinely believe I cannot fully understand what they are thinking of themselves.

    I have been to many pua sites and read their advice, but not all of them suited my needs, so I do not follow all of them anymore. Although many of their observations and advice apply for the whole of the western world, they mostly aim to an American audience, and it seems the US and some other Anglo-Saxon derived countries are exceptional in relation to other countries by having a lot of harshe, man-like women and men preoccupied with achievement. The thing though that worries me a lot is the objectification of women many of these sites promote and the “hardening” of men. There are sites and sites, from the ones that seem to give sound dating advice to the most extreme that completely dehumanize women, regarding them as automata of which if you hit certain buttons, then they are yours. Women under this mindset are not individuals anymore, do not have unique thoughts, histories, beliefs, desires and intentions, and even if they have them they are immaterial and easily overlooked. I don’t feel comfortable with myself by thinking of women in such terms and I could not respect and live with a woman if I thought of her in such terms. They 100% wrong though, as most women are pretty samey, probably because they are mostly average in most measurements, but still are humans who I believe have something greater in their head than the imperatives search the shiniest man or get to money with whatever means. That is my problem with women of my age now, they appear too same for me. They all dress the same, talk with the same style and have similar concerns, so they will not raise my interest easily. On the other hand, men seem more as individuals. Apart of cultivating this problematic outlook on women, I think they impact men as well. Most pua sites promote a so-called alpha male behaivior, where you are supposed to be more independent and dominant in order to get more women. Here opinions are in a spectrum as well, with milder versions stating that you simply must try to be more independent, to assert your opinion etc, and the most extreme ones that you have to be anti-social or even cultivate the dark personality triad to get more women. Seriously, is that sound advice? Friendship, conscienciousness and cooperation were valued by men throughout time, let’s not destroy them for the sake of women. The bottom line is, like anything posted on the Internet, that you must research many sites and compare opinions in order to be considered well-informed.

    English is not my native language, so I may not transmit my ideas clearly sometimes, but in this case you completely got what I was trying to say. No, it is not a great logical jump to go from an observation to a conclusion like that. Ancients’ writings were full of that jumps. Take for example the age-old men’s observation that women are hyperemotional, follow someone because they like him and not from his merits, etc. The conclusion in this case is that women are unfit for politics. It is not something extreme, it has been stated by men for centuries.

    What about my story? I am from Greece and studying education. Initially I was to select psychology or biology, but finally I selected education. I am moderately regretful for that choice. Like in the social sciences, our field has been aggressively infiltrated by leftist ideology – all people are equal, for everything class differences are to blame, etc, you know the picture.

    I read other human evolution blogs as well and I have liked that blog, so keep up the good work.


    • Welcome back from Mt. Olympus. How was your climb?

      I have not read a lot of PUA blogs, for the obvious reason that I am not trying to date women. What I have seen of their advice generally seems sounder than the advice I have seen from feminists, which tends to be, “The fact that you are asking for dating advice proves that you do not respect women and therefore deserve to die alone,” or, “My dating problems are much bigger than yours!”

      Many PUAs are probably also giving out crap advice, but some of them have at least tried to date women.

      All general advice suffers from the problem that it can only try to move you from Point A to Point B. If you’re not at Point A or you don’t want to go to Point B, that advice is useless. For example, some parents are too strict, so there’s parenting advice recommending that you be less strict–but if you’re not strict enough, that advice is useless.

      A lot of PUA advice is aimed at guys who are, in essence, too nice. One guy I know, for example, kept doing things like spending his very limited paycheck on diapers for the single moms he works with. (That’s not even remotely the worst of the “nice things” he’s done, but I try to respect peoples’ privacy.) He’s a really nice guy and wants to be a model of Christian charity, but these women are using him. For him, “be more sociopathic” is at least encouraging him in the direction he needs to go.

      (For that matter, I’ve done embarrassingly nice things for other people that didn’t work out as intended; “stop being so nice” is an unfortunate lesson I’ve learned.)

      All anyone can do is try to evaluate each source and see if they’re giving advice that is useful to you.

      Thanks, I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my blog.


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