Anthropology Friday: Scatalogic Rites of All Nations, pt 3/3

Muslims win this one. Netherlands, on the other hand…

Welcome back to Anthropology Friday. Today we’re finishing up with Bourke’s Scatalogic Rites of All Nations: A dissertation upon the employment of excrementitious remedial agents in religion, therapeutics, divination, witchcraft, love-philters, etc., in all parts of the globe, published in 1891.

This has been an interesting work. Every book is a product of its times, and Bourke’s shows the evidence of multiple schools of thought. You might think, from all of his interest in poop, that he had read Freud’s theories about “anal fixations” and the like, but Bourke predates Freud (Freud’s first major publication, on aphasia, also appeared in 1891, but Totem and Taboo, for example, was not published until 1913.) If anything, perhaps Bourke influenced Freud.

More influential in Bourke’s work is James George Frazer’s The Golden Bough, a work of comparative mythology (which probably also later influenced Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces,) which itself drew on the general European interest in folklore typified by the Brothers Grimm (early 1800s) and the fraudulent Ossian Epics (late 1700s.) The late 1800s were a time of intense change as the industrial revolution gathered steam, and the notion that ancient, ancestral traditions needed to be recorded and preserved before they were swept away by the changes of the modern era was widespread, prompting both folklorists at home and anthropologists abroad.

At the same time, the proto-Indo-European language had been described in fairly good detail by 1877 (with the publication of August Schleicher‘s A Compendium of the Comparative Grammar of the Indo-European, Sanskrit, Greek and Latin Languages). Here was a successful model of a cultural item (language) evolving (ie, changing) over time that could be used to map the distribution of the people who used it. The idea that things–cultures, people, animals–evolved (or changed) over time was not limited to Darwin–Darwin himself was drawing on the era’s ideas for his unifying theory of evolution via natural selection. Society itself, it seemed, was evolving–and Marx, that voluminous historian of humanity’s changing economic systems and their effects–praised Darwin’s work.

One of the major themes in anthropology at that time was that primitive forms predate modern ones: that is, that modern day primitive people (ie, non-industrialized) preserved the forms of life that the ancestors of industrialized people once followed. So even though you might not be able to figure out much about what pre-literate Europeans believed just by looking at 3,000 year old artifacts, you could infer what their culture was like by just talking to existing pre-literate peoples and looking at what they believe. Marxist theory plays right into this: Marx believed that a culture’s norms and values flowed from its economic system, and thus all hunter-gatherers would share certain norms, and all industrial societies would share certain other norms.

Bourke seeks in his material evidence for something akin to a scatalogical proto-Indo-European, of rites handed down in different location that can be traced back to some ur-rite or ur-belief. He speaks of “survivals,” little customs that might have great antiquity, perhaps dating back to this great ur-culture. For example, he tries to link the Urine Dance of the Zunis to the French Feast of Fools, since both of these involve a mockery of church customs and the eating of something that could loosely be considered excrement, though in the French case it’s just a sausage whose name could be translated as a synonym for excrement. This, he suspects, is a “substitution” of a more palatable item for the older, ancestral form. Already you see the shades of Freud.

He also cites trivial customs like the antics of children at a particular school in Pennsylvania, which seems far more likely to be just “something the kids made up” than a thousand year old “survival” of some ancient custom.

Modern anthropology takes the opposite view (Marxism excluded.) Modern day hunter-gatherers are not seen as models for our own ancestral hunter-gatherers, except in the most minimal sense (obviously they hunted… and gathered. Certain equations about caloric expenditures vs. food acquisition probably hold.) Modern groups are seen not as existing in some kind of “holding pattern” since time immemorial, but as having their own dynamic cultures that have changed (evolved) over time.

There is probably a little truth to both points of view, though thankfully Bourke doesn’t spend too much of the book searching for an ur-scatalogy and gets on with the documentation of various cultural forms, (a task he attacks with encyclopedic thoroughness, often quoting multiple accounts of the same phenomenon and always citing his sources–though I have left out the cites; you can find them in the original if want them):

“As a plaster for the interior of dwellings, cow-dung has been used with frequency ; …

“The natives of the White Nile, the tribes of the Bari, make “a cement of ashes, cow-dung, aud sand,” with which “they plaster the floors and enclosures about their houses.” … Pliny tells us that the threshing-floors of the Roman farmers were paved with cow-dung ; in a footnote it is stated that the same rule obtains in France to this day. …

“Of the Yakuts of Siberia it is related : ” In dirtiness they yield to none ; for a grave author assures us that the mortars which they use for bruising their dried fish are made of cow-dung hardened by the frost.” …

” The people of Jungeiou . . . collected the dung of cows and sheep . . . dried it, roasted it on the fire, and aftewards used it for a bed.” …

” A storekeeper in Berlin was punished some years ago for having used the urine of young girls with a view to make his cheese richer and more piquant. Notwithstanding, people went, bought and ate his cheese with delight. What may be the cause of all these foolish and mysterious things? In human urine is the Anthropin.” — (Per-sonal letter from Dr. Gustav Jseger, Stuttgart, August 29, 1888.)”

EvX: I told you cheese was suspect

“Whether or not the use of humau urine to ripen cheese originated in the ancient practice of employing exerementitious matter to preserve the products of the dairy from the maleficence of witches ; or, on the other hand, whether or not such an employment as an agent to defeat the efforts of the witches be traceable to the fact that stale urine was originally the active ferment to hasten the coagulation of the milk would scarcely be worth discussion. …

“Schurig devotes a chapter to the medicinal preparations made from human ordure. In every case the ordure had to be that of a youth from twenty-five to thirty years old. This manner of preparing chemicals from the human excreta, including phosphorus from urine, was carried to such a pitch that some philosophers believed the philosopher’s stone was to be found by mixing the salts obtained from human urine with those obtained from human excrement. — (See ” Chylologia,” pp. 739-742.) …

“The Eskimo relate stories of a people who preceded them in the Polar regions called the Tornit. Of these predecessors, they say, ” Their way of preparing meat was disgusting, since they let it become putrid, and placed it between the thigh and the belly to warm it.”…

“After describing the double tent of skins used by the Tchuktchees, Mr. W. H. Gilder, author of ” Schwatka’s Search,” says all food is served in the “yoronger,” or inner tent, in which men and women sit, in a state of nudity, wearing only a small loin-cloth of seal-skin.

“After finishing the meal, “a small, shallow pail or pan of wood is passed to any one who feels so inclined, to furnish the warm urine with which the board and knife are washed by the housewife. It is a matter of indifference who furnishes the fluid, whether the men, women, or children ; and I have myself frequently supplied the landlady with the dish-water. In nearly every tent there is kept from the summer season a small supply of dried grass. A little bunch of this is dipped in the warm urine and serves as a dish-rag and a napkin. These people are generally kind and hospitable, and were very attentive to my wants as a stranger, and regarded by them as more helpless than a native.
The women would, therefore, often turn to me after washing the board and knife, and wash my fingers and wipe the grease fro.m my mouth with the moistened grass. Any of the men or women in the tent who desired it would also ask for the wet grass, and use it in the same way.

” It was not done as a ceremony, but merely as a matter of course or of necessity.

” I do not think they would use urine for such purposes if they could get all the water, and especially the warm water, they needed. But all the water they have in winter is obtained by melting snow or ice over an oil lamp, — a very slow process ; and the supply is therefore very limited, being scarcely more than is required for drinking purposes, or to boil such fresh meat as they may have.

” The urine, being warm and containing a small quantity of ammonia, is particularly well adapted for removing grease from the board and utensils, which would otherwise soon become foul, and to their taste much more disagreeable. …

“The manners of the Celtiberians, as described by Strabo and others, have come down through many generations to their descendants in all parts of the world ; all that he related of the use of human urine as a mouth-wash, as a means of ablution, and as a dentifrice, was transplanted to the shores of America by the Spanish colonists ; and even in the present generation, according to Gen. S. V. Benet, U. S. Army, traces of such customs were to be found among some of the settlers in Florida. …

“The smoke and sparks, although sufficiently disagreeable, were trifles of comparative insignificance. I remember being told, in early infancy, that Santa Claus always came into a house through the chimney ; and, although I accepted the statement with the unreasoning faith of childhood, I could never understand how that singular feat of climbing down a chimney could be safely accomplished. . . . My first entrance into a Korak ‘yourt,’ however, at Kamenoi, solved all my childish difficulties, and proved the possibility of entering a house in the eccentric way which Santa Claus is supposed to adopt.” —(George Kennan, “Tent Life in Siberia,” 12th edition, New York, 1887, p. 222.) …

“In Hottentot marriages ” the priest, who lives at the bride’s kraal, enters the circle of the men, and coming up to the bridegroom, pisses a little upon him. The bridegroom receiving the stream with eagerness rubs it all over his body, and makes furrows with his long nails that the urine may penetrate the farther. The priest then goes to the outer circle and evacuates a little upon the bride, who rubs it in with the same eagerness as the bridegroom. To him the priest then returns, and having streamed a little more, goes again to the bride and again scatters his water upon her. Thus he proceeds from one to the other until he has exhausted his whole stock, uttering from time to time to each of
them the following wishes, till he has pronounced the whole upon both: ‘ May you live long and happily together. May you have a son before the end of the year. May this son live to be a comfort to you in your old age. May this son prove to be a man of courage and a good huntsman.'” …

“The attainment by young men of the age of manhood is an event which among all primitive peoples has been signalized by peculiar ceremonies ; in a number of instances ordure and urine have been employed, as for example : The observances connected with this event in the lives of Australian warriors are kept a profound secret, but, among
the few learned is the fact that the neophyte is ” plastered with goat dung.” …

“In order to infuse courage into boys, a warrior, Kerketegerkai, would take the eye and tongue of a dead man (probably of a slain enemy), and after mincing them and mixing with his urine, would administer the compound in the following manner. He would tell the boy to shut his eyes and not look, adding : ‘ I give you proper kaikai ‘ (‘kaikai’ is an introduced word, being the jargon English for food). The warrior then stood up behind the sitting youth, and putting the hitter’s hand between his (the man’s) legs, would feed him. After this dose, ‘heart along, boy no fright.'” — (A. C. Haddou, “The Ethnography of the Western Tribes of Torres Straits,” in Journal of the Anthrop. Institute, Great Britain and Ireland, six. no. 3, 1890, p. 420. …)

“Fearful Rite of the Hottentots:

“A religious rite of still more fearful import occurs among the same people at the initiation of their young men into the rank of warriors — a ceremony which must be deferred until the postulant has attained his eighth or ninth year. It consists, principally, in depriving him of the left testicle, after which the medicine man voids his urine upon
him. …

“Are you aware of the fact that the habit of giving the urine of a healthy child to a new-born babe has prevailed down to the present day among rustic nurses in New England, if not elsewhere, in America? I can bear personal testimony to this fact from absolute knowledge. … (Personal letter from Rev. H. K. Trumbull, editor of the ” Sunday-School Times,” Philadelphia, April 19, 1888.) …

“The reindeer Tchuktchi feign to be passing urine in order to catch their animals which they want to use with their sleds. The reindeer, horses, and cattle of the Siberian tribes are very fond of urine, prob- ably on account of the salt it contains, and when they see a man walking out from the hut, as if for the purpose of relieving his bladder, they follow him up, and so closely that he finds the operation anything but pleasant.

” The Esquimaux of King “William’s Land and the adjacent peninsula often catch the wild reindeer by digging a pit in the deep snow, and covering it with thin blocks of snow, that would break with the weight of an animal. They then make a line of urine from several directions, leading to the centre of the cover of the pitfall, where an accumulation
of snow, saturated with the urine of the dog, is deposited as bait. One or more animals are thereby led to their destruction.” …

“A PARSI is defiled by touching a corpse. “And when he is in contact and does not move it, he is to be washed with bull’s urine and water.”…

“In the cremation of a Hindu corpse at Bombay, the ashes of the pyre were sprinkled with water, a cake of cow-dung placed in the centre, and around it a small stream of cow-urine ; upon this were
placed plantain-leaves, rice-cakes, and flowers. …

“The Creation Myth of the Australians relates that the god Bund-jil created the ocean by urinating for many days upon the orb of the earth. …

“In the cosmogonical myths of the islanders of Kadiack, it is related that the first woman, ” by making water, produced seas.”


EvX
: And with that, let us take our leave of this interesting volume. See you next week!

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Anthropology Friday: Scatalogic Rites of All Nations, pt. 2

What’s in the bucket?

Welcome back to Anthropology Friday. Today we are continuing with “Scatalogic Rites of All Nations: A Dissertation upon the Employment of Excrementious Remedial Agents in Religion, Therapeutics, Divination, Witchcraft, Love-Philters, etc., in all Parts of the Globe: Based on Original Notes and Personal Observation, and upon Compilation of over One Thousand Authorities,” published in 1891 by John Bourke.

This book isn’t just a compilation of horrible stories about people eating feces. It also has a history of latrines in different countries (haven’t you ever wondered where the toilet is in an igloo?) and practical applications for waste, like the use of feces for fertilizer or urine for tanning hides (Wikipedia has a good description of the process if you are unfamiliar with it). Back before hand cream was widely available, ladies would rub urine on their hands to soften their skin.

People who didn’t have access to clean water for bathing or washing utensils often made due with urine. This might sound awful, but urine is basically sterile, and so better than nothing. A knife used to cut meat and then left uncleaned will quickly become covered in disgusting, rotting material that you don’t want in your food; a knife cleaned with pee might impart an unpleasant flavor to the food, but it probably won’t kill you.

Surprisingly, one of the locals where clean water was in short supply was Siberia/the Arctic. Not because people lacked for snow, but because collecting enough snow to bathe with and then melting it was a time-consuming process that involved going out into the extreme cold and then using a lot of fuel, which people didn’t always have. So for cleaning: urine.

And then there are folks who’ve gotten so used to cleaning their dishes with pee that they purposefully add it to their drinks for the flavor:

“On the morning of the 8th of May, while struggling with an attack of fever, I received a visit from Gilmoro, who brought me a gourd of milk as an expression of gratitude for saving him at an opportune moment his position. Burning with fever, I drained at one draught a goblet full of the foaming liquid ere the sense of taste could detect the
nauseous mixture ; my stomach, however, quickly rebelled, and rejected in violent retching the unsavory potion, seven eighths of which were simply the urine of the cow ! — a practice, by the by, common to all Central Africans, who never drink milk unless thus mixed.” …

The iconic Fly Agaric aka Amanita Muscaria

EvX: This is more common than I had suspected–and then there are the mushrooms:

Oliver Goldsmith speaks of ” a curious custom ” among ” the Tartars of Koraki. . . . The Russians who trade with them carry thither a kind of mushroom. . . . These mushrooms the rich Tartars lay up in large quantities for the winter ; and when a nobleman makes a mushroom feast all the neighbors around are invited. The mushrooms are prepared by boiling, by which the water acquires an intoxicating quality, and is a sort of drink which the Tartars prize beyond all other.

When the nobility and ladies are assembled, and the ceremonies usual between people of distinction over, the mushroom broth goes freely round, and they laugh, talk double-entendres, grow fuddled, and become excellent company. The poorer sort, who love mushroom broth to distraction as well as the rich, but cannot afford it at first hand, post themselves on these occasions round the huts of the rich, and watch the opportunity of the ladies and gentlemen as they come down to pass their liquor, and holding a wooden bowl, catch the delicious fluid, very little altered by filtration, being still strongly tinctured with the intoxicating quality. Of this they drink with the utmost satisfaction, and thus they get as drunk and as jovial as their betters. …

“The most singular effect of the Amanita is the influence it possesses over the urine. It is said that from time immemorial the inhabitants have known that the fungus imparts an intoxicating quality to that secretion, which continues for a considerable time after taking it. For instance, a man moderately intoxicated to-day will by the next morning have slept himself sober; but (as is the custom) by taking a cup of his urine he will be more powerfully intoxicated than he was the preceding day. It is therefore not uncommon for confirmed drunkards to preserve their urine as a precious liquor against a scarcity of the fungus.

” The intoxicating property of the urine is capable of being propagated, for every one who partakes of it has his urine similarly affected. Thus with a very few Amanita; a party of drunkards may keep up their debauch for a week. Dr. Laugsdorf mentions that by means of the second person taking the urine of the first, the third of the second, and so on, the intoxication may be propagated through five individuals.”— (English Cyclop., London, 1854, vol ii., ” Natural History,” article ” Fungi.” London : Bradbury and Evans.)”

EvX: Europeans have certain genetic adaptations that let them digest alcohol with fewer ill effects (Asians, by contrast, often get quite red while drinking, even if they enjoy the beverage, and people from cultures that never really had alcohol often get quite addicted to it.) I wager the Siberians have some interesting genetic adaptations to mushrooms (and maybe pee) that allow them to eat them with fewer bad effects.

Then we have some more extreme customs:

“Speaking of the remnants of the Hindu sect of the Aghoris, an English writer observes:

” In proof of their indifference to worldly objects they eat and drink whatever is given to them, even ordure and carrion. They smear their bodies also with excrement, and carry it about with them in a wooden cup, or skull, either to swallow it… or to throw it upon the persons or into the houses of those who refuse
to comply with their demands.”

EvX: The Aghoris are definitely a real sect and not something just made up for the sake of a wild story. According to Wikipedia:

The Aghori (Sanskrit aghora)[2] are ascetic Shaiva sadhus. The Aghori are known to engage in post-mortem rituals. They often dwell in charnel grounds, have been witnessed smearing cremation ashes on their bodies, and have been known to use bones from human corpses for crafting kapalas (skullcups which Shiva and other Hindu deities are often iconically depicted holding or using) and jewelry. Because of their practices that are contradictory to orthodox Hinduism, they are generally opposed by other Hindus.[3][4]

the Aghoris maintain that all opposites are ultimately illusory. The purpose of embracing pollution and degradation through various customs is the realization of non-duality (advaita) through transcending social taboos, attaining what is essentially an altered state of consciousness and perceiving the illusory nature of all conventional categories. …

Aghoris base their beliefs on two principles common to broader Shaiva beliefs: that Shiva is perfect (having omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence) and that Shiva is responsible for everything that occurs – all conditions, causes and effects. Consequently, everything that exists must be perfect and to deny the perfection of anything would be to deny the sacredness of all life in its full manifestation, as well as to deny the Supreme Being.

Aghoris believe that every person’s soul is Shiva but is covered by aṣṭamahāpāśa “eight great nooses or bonds”, including sensual pleasure, anger, greed, obsession, fear and hatred. The practices of the Aghoris are centered around the removal of these bonds. Sādhanā in cremation grounds destroys fear; sexual practices with certain riders and controls help release one from sexual desire; being naked destroys shame. On release from all the eight bonds the soul becomes sadāśiva and obtains moksha.[6]

Back to the book, which has moved on to the Dalai Lama, whoe poop is magic:

“Grueber assures us that the grandees of the kingdom are very anxious to procure the excrements of this divinity (i. e., the Grand Lama), which they usually wear about their necks as relics. In another place he says that the Lamas make a great advantage by the large presents they receive for helping the grandees to some of his excrements, or urine ; for, by wearing the first about their necks, and mixing the latter with their victuals, they imagine themselves to be
secure against all bodily infirmities. In confirmation of this, Gerbillon informs us that the Mongols wear his excrements, pulverized, in little bags about their necks, as precious relics, capable of preserving them from all misfortunes, and curing them of all sorts of distempers. …

“Mr. W. W. Rockhill, for six years secretary of the Legation of the United States, in Pekin, is a member of the Oriental Society, and a scholar of the highest attainments, more particularly in all that relates to the languages, customs, and religions of China and Thibet, in which countries he has travelled extensively.

“The sacred pills presented by him to the author were enclosed in a silver reliquary, elaborately chased and ornamented ; in size they were about as large as quail-shot ; their color was almost orange, or between
that and an ochreous red.

“Through the kindness of Surgeon-General John Moore, U. S. Army, they were analyzed by Dr. Mew, U. S. Army, with the following results : —

“April 18, 1889.

“I have at length found time to examine the Grand Lama’s ordure, and write to say that I find nothing at all remarkable in it. He had been feeding on a farinaceous diet, for I found by the microscope a large amount of undigested starch in the field, the presence of which I verified by the usual iodine test, which gave an abundant reaction.

” There was also present much cellulose, or what appealed to be cellulose, from which I infer that the flour used (which was that of wheat) was of a coarse quality, and probably not made in Minnesota.

” A slight reaction for biliary matter seemed to show that there was no obstruction of the bile ducts. These tests about used up the four very small pills of the Lama’s ordure.

” Very respectfully and sincerely yours,

(Signed) “W. M. Mew.”

EvX: It appears that the current Dalai Lama’s monastery still produces pills of some sort, but I bet they aren’t full of poop. Religions change, sometimes for the better. Nevertheless, I don’t recommend buying and eating random “Tibetan pills” off Ebay that promise they’re made with bits of hair or nail clippings from monks.

Returning to Europe:

“In Ireland, weakly children are taken to drink the ablution, that is, the water and wine with which the chalice is rinsed after the priest has taken the communion, — the efficacy arising from the cup having just before contained the body of our Lord.” … The same cure was also in vogue in England, and in each case for the whooping-cough.”

EvX: This is why infant mortality used to be so high.

“Picart narrates that the Brahmins fed grain to a sacred cow, and afterward searched in the ordure for the sacred grains, which they picked out whole, drying and administering them to the sick, not merely as a medicine, but as a sacred thing. …

” The greatest, or, at any rate, the most convenient of all purifiers is the urine of a cow ; . . . Images are sprinkled with it.

“Very frequently the excrement is first reduced to ashes. The monks of Chivem, called Paudarones, smear their faces, breasts, and arms with the ashes of cow dung ; they run through the streets demanding alms, very much as the Zuni actors demanded a feast, and chant the praises of Chivem, while they carry a bundle of peacock feathers in the hand,
and wear the lingam at the neck.”

EvX: And a the other extreme:

Captain Cook tells us that the New Zealanders had privies to every three or four of their houses ; he also takes occasion to say that there were no privies in Madrid until 1760 ; that the determination of the king to introduce them and sewers, and to prohibit the throwing of human ordure out of windows after nightfall, as had been the custom,
nearly precipitated a revolution. …

” They (the Tartars) hold it not good to abide long in one place, for they will say when they will curse any of their children, ‘ I would thou mightest tarry so long in one place that thou mightest smell thine own dung as the Christians do;’ and this is the greatest curse they have.” …

“Padre Gumilla says that the Indians on the Orinoco have the same custom as the Jews and Turks have of digging holes with a hoe and covering up their evacuations. (See “Orinoco,” Madrid, 17-41, p. 109.) No such cleanliness can be attributed to the Indians of the Plains of North America or the nomadic tribes of the Southwest. …

“Mr. John F. Mann confirms from personal observation that the natives of Australia observed the injunction given to the Hebrews in Deuteronomy. ” From personal observation, I can state that the natives, all over the country, as a rule, are particular in this matter, but it was many years before I ascertained the reasons for this care. Sorcery and witchcraft exist in every tribe; each tribe has its ‘Kooradgee’ or medicine-man ; the natives imagine that any death, accident, or pain, is caused by the evil influence of some enemy. These ‘ Kooradgees ‘ have the power not only of inflicting pain, but of causing all kinds of trouble. They are particular to always carry about with them, in a net bag, a
‘ charm ‘ which is most ordinarily made of rock crystal, human excrement, and kidney fat. If one of these medicine-men can obtain possession of some of the excrement of his intended victim, or some of his hair, in fact anything belonging to his person, it is the most easy thing in the world to bewitch him.” — (Personal letter from John F. Mann, Esq., Neutral Bay, New South Wales.)

“the Lapps, upon breaking camp, made it a point to burn the dung of their reindeer in cases where any of these animals had died of disease ; while it is also related that immigrants to California from the States of Missouri and Arkansas, for some reason not understood, had the singular custom of burning their own excrement in the camp-fire. …

“On the Gold Coast of Africa, the negroes “are very careful not to let a fart, if anybody be by them ; they wonder at our Netherlander that use it so commonly, for they cannot abide that a man should fart before them, esteeming it to be a great shame and contempt done unto them.” — (Master Richard Jobson, a. d. 1620, in Purchas, vol. ii. p. 930.)

“In the Russian sect of dissenters called the “Bezpopovtsi,” “during the service of Holy Thursday, certain of them, known as ‘ gapers ‘ or ‘yawners,’ sit for hours with their mouths wide open, waiting for ministering angels to quench their spiritual thirst from invisible chalices.” — (Heard, “Russian Church and Russian Dissent,” pp. 200, 201.)”

EvX: I think that’s enough for today. See you next week!

Anthropology Friday: Scatalogic Rites of All Nations, by John Bourke

“Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. … 12 Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.” 13 The Lord said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”

14 Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign Lord! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered my mouth.”

1“Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement.” –Ezekiel 4:9-15

I was going to do something serious like Carlton Coon or Totem and Taboo but then I found “Scatalogic Rites of All Nations: A Dissertation upon the Employment of Excrementious Remedial Agents in Religion, Therapeutics, Divination, Witchcraft, Love-Philters, etc., in all Parts of the Globe: Based on Original Notes and Personal Observation, and upon Compilation of over One Thousand Authorities,” published in 1891 by John Bourke and “not for general perusal.”

So we’re reading this instead. (As usual, quote from the book will be in “” instead of blockquotes.)

“I. The Urine Dance of the Zunis

“In the evening of November 17, 1881, during my stay in the village of Zuni, New Mexico, the Nehue-C’ue, one of the secret orders of the Zunis, sent word to Mr. Frank H. Cushing, whose guest I was, that they would do us the unusual honor of coming to our house to give us one of their characteristic dances, which, Cushing said, was unprecedented. …

“To the accompaniment of an oblong drum … they shuffled into the long room, crammed with spectators of
both sexes and of all sizes and ages. Their song was apparently a ludicrous reference to everything and everybody in sight, Cushing, Mindeleff, and myself receiving special attention, to the uncontrolled merriment of the red-skinned listeners.

“The dancers suddenly wheeled into line, threw themselves on their knees before my table, and with extravagant beatings of breast began an outlandish but faithful mockery of a Mexican Catholic congregation at vespers. One bawled out a parody upon the pater-noster, another mumbled along in the manner of an old man reciting the rosary,
while the fellow with the India-rubber coat jumped up and began a passionate exhortation of sermon, which for mimetic fidelity was incomparable. This kept the audience laughing with sore sides for some moments, until, at a signal from the leader, the dancers suddenly countermarched out of the room in single file as they had entered.

“… The Kehue-Cue re-entered ; this time two of their number were stark naked. Their singing was very peculiar, and sounded like a chorus of chimney-sweeps, and their dance became a stiff-legged jump, with heels kept twelve inches apart. After they had ambled around the room two or three times, Cushing announced in the Zufii language that a
” feast ” was ready for them … They then squatted upon the ground and consumed with zest large ” ollas ” full of tea, and dishes of hard tack and sugar. As they were about finishing this a squaw entered, carrying an ” olla ” of
urine, of which the filthy brutes drank heartily.

“I refused to believe the evidence of my senses, and asked Cushing if that were really human urine. ” Why, certainly,” replied he, ” and here comes more of it.” This time it was a large tin pailful, not less than two gallons. …

“The dancers swallowed great draughts, smacked their lips, and, amid the roaring merriment of the spectators, remarked that it was very, very good. The clowns were now upon their mettle, each trying to surpass his neighbors in feats of nastiess. One swallowed a fragment of corn-husk, saying he thought it very good and better than bread…

“The Zunis, in explanation, stated that the Nehue-Cue were a Medicine Order, which held these dances from time to time to inure the stomachs of members to any kind of food, no matter how revolting. This statement may seem plausible enough when we understand that religion and medicine, among primitive races, are almost always one and the same thing, or at least so closely intertwined, that it is a matter of difficulty to decide where one begins and the other ends.”

EvX: Lest you think the author is targeting the Zunis, he follows this up with a similar celebration in Europe:

“Loosely corresponding to this urine dance of the Zunis was the Feast of Fools in Continental Europe, the description of which here given is quoted from Dulaure :

[the following is in French, but the author gives a summary]

“In the above description may be seen that the principal actors (taking possession of the church during high mass) had their faces daubed and painted, or masked in a harlequin manner; that they were dressed as clowns or as women; that they ate upon the altar itself sausages and blood-puddings. Now the word ” blood-pudding ” in French is boudin; but boudin also meant “excrement.” Add to this the feature that these clowns, after leaving the church, took their stand in dung-carts (tombereaux) , and threw ordure upon the by-standers; and finally that some of these actors appeared perfectly naked… and it must be admitted that there is certainly a wonderful concatenation of resemblances
between these filthy and inexplicable rites on different sides of a great ocean. …

“Applying the above remark to the Zuni dance, it may be interpreted as a dramatic pictograph of some half-forgotten episode in tribal history. To strengthen this view by example, let us recall the fact that the army of Crusaders under Peter the Hermit was so closely beleaguered by the Moslems in Nicomedia in Bithynia that they were compelled to drink their own urine. We read the narrative set out in cold type. The Zunis would have transmitted a record of the event by a dramatic representation which time would incrust with all the veneration that religion could impart.

“…The urine of horses was drunk by the people of Crotta while besieged by Metellus. — (See, in Montaigne’s Essays, ” On Horses,” cap. xlviii. ; see also, in Harington, “Ajax” — “Ulysses upon Ajax,” p. 42.)

“Shipwrecked English seamen drank human urine for want of water. (See in Purchas, vol. iv. p. 1188.) In the year 1877 Captain Nicholas Nolan, Tenth Cavalry, while scouting with his troop after hostile Indians on the Staked Plains of Texas, was lost ; and as supplies became exhausted, the command was reduced to living for several days on the blood of their horses and their own urine, water not being discovered in that vicinity. — (See Hammersley’s Record of Living Officers of the United States Army.)”

EvX: Though urine’s salt content makes it iffy for rehydration, it’s basically sterile, so drinking small quantities probably won’t hurt you the way eating feces or arsenic can. (We’ve already seen in previous posts that reindeer are quite fond of the salts found in human urine and that actually consuming feces is still used as a medical treatment for certain intestinal disorders, though typically this is done in some way that allows the suffer not to taste it.)

Speaking of feces:

“The following appeared in an article headed “The Last Cholera Epidemic in Paris,” in the ” General Homoeopathic Journal,” vol. cxiii., page 15, 1886: “The neighbors of an establishment famous for its excellent bread, pastry, and similar products of luxury, complained again and again of the disgusting smells which prevailed therein and which penetrated into their dwellings. The appearance of cholera finally lent force to these complaints, and the sanitary inspectors who were sent to investigate the matter found that there was a connection between the water-closets of these dwellings and the reservoir containing the water used in the preparation of the bread. This connection was cut off at once, but the immediate result thereof was a perceptible deterioration of the quality of the bread. Chemists have evidently no difficulty in demonstrating that water impregnated with ‘extract of water-closet,’ has the peculiar property of causing dough to rise particularly fine, thereby imparting to bread the nice appearance and pleasant flavor which is the principal quality of luxurious bread.”

EvX: W. T. F.

“The very earliest accounts of the Indians of Florida and Texas refer to the use of such aliment. Cabeza de Vaca, one of the survivors of the ill-fated expedition of Paufilo de Narvaez, was a prisoner among various tribes for many years, and finally, accompanied by three comrades as wretched as himself, succeeded in traversing the continent, coming out at Culiacan, on the Pacific Coast, in 1536. His narrative says that the ” Floridians,” “for food, dug roots, and that they ate spiders, ants’ eggs, worms, lizards, salamanders, snakes, earth, wood, the dung of deer, and many other things.”

EvX: If we were to arrange the groups mentioned in the book along a “scale of cleanliness,” I think Muslims would come out as the cleanest (I don’t recall mention of Jewish customs), certain pagan groups as the dirtiest*, and Christians in between. I haven’t studied Islam, yet, but my understanding is that it adopted various aspects of Jewish law which has a strong emphasis on cleanliness, eg, the similar laws of kosher and halal dictate which foods are clean to eat and how they should be prepared. Christianity adopted some of the spiritual elements of Judaism, but abandoned the legalistic parts–including all of the rules on things like “how to make sure your oven is clean.” Christians don’t really believe that you can become morally unclean from touching something physically unclean, like menstrual blood.

*Some pagan groups are very clean.

“The German Jesuit, Father Jacob Baegert, speaking of the Lower Californians (among whom he resided continuously from 1748 to 17C5), says: — ” They eat the seeds of the pitahaya (giant cactus) which have passed off undigested from their own stomachs ; they gather their own excrement, separate the seeds from it, roast, grind, and eat them, making merry over the loathsome meal.” And again : ” In the mission of Saint Ignatius, . . . there are persons who will attach a piece of meat to a string and swallow it and pull it out again a dozen times in succession, for the sake of protracting the enjoyment of its taste.”

EvX: For goodness’ sakes, just give the poor men some more meat!

“The Abbe Domenech asserts the same of the bands near Lake Superior : ” In boiling their wild rice to eat, they mix it with the excrement of rabbits, — a delicacy appreciated by the epicures amongthem” …

“Of the negroes of Guinea an old authority relates that they ” ate filthy, stinking elephant’s and buffalo’s flesh, wherein there is a thousand maggots, and many times stinks like carrion. …

“And another says that the Mosagueys make themselves a ” pottage with milk and fresh dung of kine, which, mixed together and heat at the fire, they drinke, saying it makes them strong” …

“(Tunguses of Siberia.) “They eat up every part of the animal which they kill, not throwing away even the impurities of the bowels, with which they make a sort of black pudding by a mixture of blood and fat.” — (Gavrila Sarytschew, in Phillips’s ” Voyages,” London, 1807, vol. v.)

“Natives of Eastern Siberia ” ate with avidity the entrails of the seal without cleaning in the least the partly digested food from the intestines, the ordure of the seal being as offensive to civilized man as the fasces of men or dogs.” — (Personal letter from Chief Engineer Melville, U. S. Navy, to Captain Bourke.) …

” In Queensland, near Darlington, there is a tract of country covered with a peculiar species of pine, yielding an edible nut of which the natives are extremely fond. . . . The men would form large clay pans in the soil, into which they would urinate ; they would then collect an abundance of these seeds and steep them in the urine. A fermentation took place, and all the seeds were devoured greedily, the effect being to cause a temporary madness among the men, — in fact a perfect delirium tremens. On these occasions it was dangerous for any one to approach them. The liquid was not used in any way.” — (Personal letter from John F. Mann, Esq., Neutral Bay, Sydney, New South Wales.)”

Casu Marzu cheese

EvX: Lest we grow over-proud, let’s remember that anything “fermented” is essentially rotten. Coffee, chocolate, cheese, and bread are all produced via fermentation. Cheese is exceptionally disgusting, because in addition to being inculcated with bacteria and left to rot for a few months, it is first treated with rennet, an enzyme that comes from a calf’s stomach. Rennet makes the cheese coagulate, just as it does while being digested. In other words, cheese is literally rotten vomit.

If that weren’t bad enough, in Sardinia there is a variety of cheese, casu marzu, that is literally full of maggots. When disturbed (such as by someone biting into a piece of the cheese,) the larvae can leap 6 inches into the air.

According to Wikipedia:

Similar milk cheeses notable for containing living insect larvae are produced in several Italian regions and in Corsica, France.[16][17][18]

Several other regional varieties of cheese with fly larvae are produced in Europe. For example, goat-milk cheese is left to the open air until P. casei eggs are naturally laid in the cheese.[4] Then it is aged in white wine, with grapes and honey, preventing the larvae from emerging, giving the cheese a strong flavour. In addition, other regions in Europe have traditional cheeses that rely on live arthropods for ageing and flavouring, such as the German Milbenkäse and French Mimolette, both of which rely on cheese mites.

Civet in a civet-poop-coffee farm

(Lest you get the wrong impression, I love cheese and sometimes make my own.)

Coffee, while also rotten, is normally less disgusting than cheese. Civet Coffee (aka kopi luwak,) is one of the world’s most expensive varieties, clocking in at $100-$500 a pound. It’s made from coffee beans that were eaten and then pooped out by civets. People used to collect the beans from wild civet droppings just found lying randomly on the ground, but since the coffee caught on as a thing for rich people, the civets have been moved into cages where their poops can be more easily collected.

Unfortunately for connoisseurs, civet coffee apparently doesn’t live up to the hype:

Farmed civet poops full of coffee beans

The Specialty Coffee Association of America (SCAA) states that there is a “general consensus within the industry … it just tastes bad”. A coffee professional cited in the SCAA article was able to compare the same beans with and without the kopi luwak process using a rigorous coffee cupping evaluation. He concluded: “it was apparent that Luwak coffee sold for the story, not superior quality…Using the SCAA cupping scale, the Luwak scored two points below the lowest of the other three coffees. It would appear that the Luwak processing diminishes good acidity and flavor and adds smoothness to the body, which is what many people seem to note as a positive to the coffee.”

Tim Carman, food writer for the Washington Post reviewed kopi luwak available to US consumers and concluded “It tasted just like…Folgers. Stale. Lifeless. Petrified dinosaur droppings steeped in bathtub water. I couldn’t finish it.”[17]

As someone who enjoys Target Coffee, I know I’m not much of a connoisseur, but at least I don’t pay $500 a pound for poop coffee.

Let’s continue this discussion next week, with practical (and impractical) uses for urine.