Clinton vs. Bush, or Why you should have Multiple Children

Original

As the only heir of the immensely wealthy and powerful Clinton family, Chelsea has been thrust into the public spotlight following her mother’s electoral defeat.

Unfortunately for the Blue Tribe she is supposed to lead, Mrs. Chelsea isn’t too bright. Her Twitter comment was intended as a critique of the claim that Confederate statues and monuments should not be torn down because they symbolize part of America’s history.

Milan Cathedral

This statement depends entirely on churches Chelsea has personally visited. “I have not personally seen this” is a bad argument. All it takes is a few churches she hasn’t attended that happen to have Lucifer statues to disprove her whole point.

And if you know anything about churches, you know that some of them have an awful lot of statues. The Milan Cathedral has 3,400 of them! They cover these things with gargoyles–do you really want to make a political argument that hinges on whether or not there’s a Lucifer in there somewhere?

The Vatican’s new statue

But you don’t have to travel to famous Italian cathedrals to hunt for the Devil; I have a statuette of Satan defeated by Michel the Archangel about ten feet away on my mantle. Do you know how many statues there are of this guy? Both Popes got together in 2013 to consecrate a new statue of him–complete with Lucifer–in the middle of the holy Vatican City.

Satan also shows up in Christian art and iconography in a variety of disguises, such as a Dragon (defeated by St. George) and a serpent (trod upon by the Virgin Mary.)

If we expand our search to include paintings and stained glass, we find almost endless examples, such as the famous Sistine Chapel frescoes (Michelangelo put the Mouth of Hell right over the Pope’s chair, I hear.)

But even if we limit ourselves to freestanding statues solely of Lucifer himself–not of him being defeated or crushed, not in symbolic form nor painted on the walls, we still have this rather cute little Devil seated outside Marienkirche church in Lübeck, Germany; this large and creepy statue of Lucifer tangled in power lines in the Holy Trinity Church in Marylebone, Westminster; a frightening devil from the church of Sainte-Marie-Madeleine de Rennes-le-Château; Satan pushing the damned into the Leviathan’s mouth, a 12th century Romanesque Carving from the Church Sainte Foy, France; Satan again; carving of Satan being cast out of Heaven from Pisa, Italy; the Devil weighing souls and leading away the damned, Notre Dame, France; another from Notre Dame; devils carved into a church in Lincolnshire, England; a little devil in St. Severin, France; Satan on a pillar, Chatellerault, France; statue of the Devil at the Grotto of St. Anthony, Belgium; and for that matter, there are a lot of frankly obscene carvings in older churches.

We could do this all day, but I think you get the point: there are a lot of depictions of the Devil in Christian churches. Having been raised Methodist is no excuse; somewhere between attending Sidwell Friends, Stanford, Oxford, Columbia, etc., Chelsea has surely learned something about European art.

Considering Chelsea’s level of worldliness–one of the privileged glitterati who get to spend their lives drifting from board to board of different companies and exclusive soirees for the rich and famous–you’d expect her to have at least noticed the carvings on a European cathedral or two.

Even Chelsea’s writing career shows few signs of brilliance: she’s written two books for kids (one of those a picture book) and co-authored one for adults, which has–wow–absolutely rock-bottom reviews. Considering her kids’ books got good reviews, I don’t think this is a troll campaign–it looks like her book is actually terrible.

Unfortunately for the increasingly old and decrepit senior Clintons, lack-luster Chelsea is the only egg in their basket: they have no other kids to prop her up or take the limelight for her.

The Bush family in the Red Room of the White House (January 2005).

By contrast, President and first lady George H. W. and Barbara Bush had 6 children–George Walker Bush, Pauline Robinson “Robin” Bush (1949–1953, died of leukemia), John Ellis “Jeb” Bush, Neil Mallon Pierce Bush, Marvin Pierce Bush, and Dorothy Bush Koch.[9] George “W” Bush, although not noted for intellectual excellence, managed to follow in his father’s footsteps and also become President; his brother Jeb was governor of Florida; and Neil and Marvin are doing well for themselves in business.

According to Wikipedia, George and Barbara’s five surviving children have produced 14 grand children (including two adoptees) and 7 great-grandchildren, for a total of 24 living descendants. Chelsea Clinton, while obviously younger, has only 2 children.

Having one child is an effective way to concentrate wealth, but the Bush family, by putting its eggs into more baskets, has given itself more opportunities for exceptional children to rise to prominence and make alliances (marriages, friendships) with other wealthy and powerful families.

The Clintons, by contrast, now have only Chelsea to lead them.

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18 thoughts on “Clinton vs. Bush, or Why you should have Multiple Children

  1. Chelsea’s comment is even worse than being merely artistically and historically ignorant. She just told the South that their heroes are devils. Robert E. Lee was an honorable man, and no devil. Neither are any of the other Confederate heroes. And I say that as a decendent of a man who fought for the Union. Her statement is just gobsmackingly tone deaf. Someone needs to burst the bubble of these dumbass elites, and soon.

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    • Remember these “sons of the south” Clinton and Gore pins with the Stars and Bars? These people are so bizarr you don’t know where opportunism ends and retardation starts.

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    • She’s definitely tone deaf, though I understand her perspective is “people who went to war to defend slavery were evil.”

      I’m from the South, but I never gave two toots about Lee or any of the other “heroes” and I think most other Southerners don’t really care, either. It’s just history. There are a few guys who’re really into it (many of them are just regular old history buffs) and a bunch of people just trying to live their lives without harassment or someone telling them that their history is evil and needs to be torn down.

      The sheer vitriol of it is astounding. I don’t go around telling people to tear down statues of Marx or to burn their Che Guevara posters.

      Well, Chelsea’s likely political career is going to be something.

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  2. I was shocked to learn Chelsea Clinton has children. I was shocked the way someone is shocked to find out that an invasive species has already layed eggs. Not just because shes offspring of two sociopaths, but also because shes ugly as fuaaaaaaack.

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    • Well, Chelsea isn’t very bright and doesn’t have much going for her career-wise, so what’s she going to do with her time? She has to prove her worth somehow, so she made two kids.

      I think she’s had some kind of plastic surgery or at least is getting her hair heavily styled these days. But she can’t be blamed for her appearance.

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      • With Chelsea as a mother, and Bill and Hillary as grandparents, what do you want to bet one of those kids turns Alt-Right, if not actual NatSoc?

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      • Nah. They’re growing up immersed in a luxurious bubble they’ll probably never leave. “What, the peasants have no bread? Well, just let them eat cake!”
        (Marie Antoinette never aid that, but the idea that some people live in bubbles is real.)

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  3. Seriously? The lesson here isn’t about out-breeding the heathen, filling your quiver full of arrows to shoot at the enemy, not putting all your eggs in one basket – however you want to say it. Life is a messy business and the more you try to script it, the more likely a descendant will take all that money you never spent and blow it on something useless. You can’t hedge against all contingencies. So you might as well life a life you enjoy, having however many or few kids (or none at all, if it suits you) as you can manage, and focus on just being a person of your word who has a good reputation among your neighbors and friends.

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  4. This was an exceptionally obtuse post. On Chelsea Clinton’s Tweet: Twitter has a hard limit of 140 characters, which doesn’t allow for much nuance. She might have written something better had she had more space. She might have written, as I am going to do, that there are no laudatory statues of Lucifer in any churches. I am perfectly content with leaving all Confederate monuments in place as long as we add giant signs stating LOSER TRAITOR to them, which would be much more accurate than what they say now.

    As for her book, the Clintons have been the targets of such appalling hatred for so long that any reviews of anything written by any of them should be ignored as hopelessly biased. Said bias can be in either direction, but definitely any review would be colored by the reviewer’s opinions of the family.

    Finally, comparing George HW Bush’s family to the Clintons is invalid because HW is from an entirely different generation with much different attitudes towards procreation. Compare his children to the Clintons for a more accurate analogy. W, to use one, had twin daughters. The largest family among the Bush grandchildren is Dorothy, with four kids none of whom merit a mention in her Wikipedia entry. One should also consider that trust fund families tend to be larger than those of us less privileged types.

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  5. Interesting. I don’t think I remember another post that drew this animated a response.

    As for Chelsea, maybe the fluoride got her*. In general, when you look at public figures over the last 100 years, they seem to steadily lose stature. It’s a pretty steep drop, in terms of personal impressiveness, from Teddy Roosevelt to FDR (who seems to have been, looking back, a creepy sort of tinpot dictator, with US trappings) to Nixon to the last four presidents. That’s just taking the presidency as a sample vertical. I can’t think of anyone of Jacksonian stature in the public eye today. Something is cartoonizing people and turning them into the Idiocracy parody of what they were meant to be.

    *https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/features/fluoride-childrens-health-grandjean-choi/

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    • Ignoring politics entirely, of the 20th century presidents, Teddy Roosevelt is (IMO) the most impressive. He is simply an impressive human. I find it a great tragedy that Teddy has dropped so much in prominence lately; I would like to highlight him as a role model for kids but I have so far failed to find any good kids’ books that focus on him. (At least at my library.)

      We have grown weak.

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