Venus de Milo with Makeup

Due to recent conversations (see here) on the subject of phenotypic femininity and older art, I decided to try to put makeup on the Venus de Milo.

Please keep in mind that 1. My Photoshop skills are not very good, and 2. I don’t actually know how to apply makeup.

Why? Modern makeup–cheap, colorful, abundant, and not made with lead or other toxic substances–was invented in the late 1800s. So if we’re talking about femininity in art, then we have to find some way to control for makeup use.

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13 thoughts on “Venus de Milo with Makeup

  1. Slathering the statue in make-up doesn’t help. It has obscured what I’m attempting to highlight in the first place. Make-up doesn’t change the proportions of your face. You can enhance certain features with make-up, such as the lips and eyes, to make a women look more fertile, but you can’t fake paedomorphy.

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      • Best not to try “updating” the statues. Leave them as they are, so that their grotesqueness can be fully appreciated. I simply can’t believe I’m the only person in the world who can see them for what they are. I feel like that kid who pointed out the emperor’s got no clothes on. I mean, what, are these statues steeped in such historical reverence that all who gaze upon them are affected by some kind of visual agnosia?

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  2. It most certainly is not normal, my dear. I’ve seen men with bigger tits. Besides, the average breast size among UK women, for instance, has been pretty stable over the last few decades, hovering between C cup and D cup. Having said that, I do see a lot of ample-bosomed young girls, and no, they’re not obese. Female genes are definitely improving, at least on this side of the pond.

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      • Unless you’re going by the anorexic standards of the catwalk industry, no, most young women are not obese. Venus de Milo’s boobs (if you can even call them that) are clearly between an A and a B cup. My lyin’ eyes? I don’t think so. Also, the measuring systems we’ve had for breast sizes over the years have been notoriously unreliable. It is said that as many as 80% of women wear bras that are too restrictive.

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/youve-probably-been-wearing-the-wrong-bra-size-for_us_59494134e4b09edb4c91f2ba

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      • I’m sorry, but you apparently don’t know how women’s bra sizing works. Venus de Milo is not even remotely an A-cup.

        The average American 18 yr old is 5’4″ (163 cm) and weighs 125 pounds (57 kg.) This is about 15 pounds of excess fat.

        Even the skinniest girls are heavier than they used to be. 100 years ago, a 5’4″ woman in the bottom 10% weighed 12 lbs (5kg) less than she does today. (A 5’4″ woman in the top 10% weighs 128 lbs (58kg) than she would have a century ago.) So everyone you see aside from a handful of people with medical problems like cancer weighs more than they would have a century ago.

        Women wear bras that are too tight because they’ve gained weight since they last measured or were lying to themselves about their size in the first place.

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  3. Okay then, a B cup at most. Point is, they’re small and they look like bad implants. Breasts are supposed to be a bit, how should I say it… pendulous.

    15 pounds of excess fat? That doesn’t sound like a lot. Would it even be noticeable? I can’t imagine it would.

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