Venus de Milo with Makeup

Due to recent conversations (see here) on the subject of phenotypic femininity and older art, I decided to try to put makeup on the Venus de Milo.

Please keep in mind that 1. My Photoshop skills are not very good, and 2. I don’t actually know how to apply makeup.

Why? Modern makeup–cheap, colorful, abundant, and not made with lead or other toxic substances–was invented in the late 1800s. So if we’re talking about femininity in art, then we have to find some way to control for makeup use.


18 thoughts on “Venus de Milo with Makeup

  1. Slathering the statue in make-up doesn’t help. It has obscured what I’m attempting to highlight in the first place. Make-up doesn’t change the proportions of your face. You can enhance certain features with make-up, such as the lips and eyes, to make a women look more fertile, but you can’t fake paedomorphy.


      • Best not to try “updating” the statues. Leave them as they are, so that their grotesqueness can be fully appreciated. I simply can’t believe I’m the only person in the world who can see them for what they are. I feel like that kid who pointed out the emperor’s got no clothes on. I mean, what, are these statues steeped in such historical reverence that all who gaze upon them are affected by some kind of visual agnosia?

        Liked by 1 person

      • “…Best not to try “updating” the statues…”

        You’re utterly and completely wrong about this. Makeup shows the statues as they were. All ancient statues were brightly colored. The reason was they had plenty of earth type tones naturally around them. They loved to see brighter colors. These days we have a taste for natural more earth tones only because we’ve been bombarded with gaudy crap for so long.


  2. It most certainly is not normal, my dear. I’ve seen men with bigger tits. Besides, the average breast size among UK women, for instance, has been pretty stable over the last few decades, hovering between C cup and D cup. Having said that, I do see a lot of ample-bosomed young girls, and no, they’re not obese. Female genes are definitely improving, at least on this side of the pond.


      • Unless you’re going by the anorexic standards of the catwalk industry, no, most young women are not obese. Venus de Milo’s boobs (if you can even call them that) are clearly between an A and a B cup. My lyin’ eyes? I don’t think so. Also, the measuring systems we’ve had for breast sizes over the years have been notoriously unreliable. It is said that as many as 80% of women wear bras that are too restrictive.


      • I’m sorry, but you apparently don’t know how women’s bra sizing works. Venus de Milo is not even remotely an A-cup.

        The average American 18 yr old is 5’4″ (163 cm) and weighs 125 pounds (57 kg.) This is about 15 pounds of excess fat.

        Even the skinniest girls are heavier than they used to be. 100 years ago, a 5’4″ woman in the bottom 10% weighed 12 lbs (5kg) less than she does today. (A 5’4″ woman in the top 10% weighs 128 lbs (58kg) than she would have a century ago.) So everyone you see aside from a handful of people with medical problems like cancer weighs more than they would have a century ago.

        Women wear bras that are too tight because they’ve gained weight since they last measured or were lying to themselves about their size in the first place.


  3. Okay then, a B cup at most. Point is, they’re small and they look like bad implants. Breasts are supposed to be a bit, how should I say it… pendulous.

    15 pounds of excess fat? That doesn’t sound like a lot. Would it even be noticeable? I can’t imagine it would.


    • Of course it’d be noticeable. 125 lbs is like me at 6 months pregnant; I definitely noticed. I had to buy all new clothes because the old ones didn’t fit anymore.

      In a normal, non-pregnant woman, the extra pounds go to hips, butt, and breasts first, which seems relevant.

      Breasts become pendulous with age, pregnancy, and years of nursing. Presumably Mrs. de Milo is supposed to be younger than that, though. Also a goddess, so blessed with an eternally youthful appearance.
      However, I agree that many artists did not work off of actual human models but extrapolated from what people look like with clothes on.


      • Why would they not use actual human models? I don’t think they suffered under the same Abrahamic taboos as Christian Europe did for so long. I think they probably did use models, but they were all men, and the homosexual artists just added long hair and fake-looking breasts to placate the masses. An eternally youthful appearance, you say, and yet no neoteny whatsoever. How deplorable.

        @SamJ Regardless of whether or not the statues were originally painted, it doesn’t change the fact vthat their physiognomies are grossly incorrect and repulsive.


      • My vague impression of art history is that artists and particularly art schools had trouble getting human models until fairly recently. There were taboos against nudity, not to mention it was cold much of the time.


      • I like girls with average breast. I admit some…how do I say this…some reflexive ogling at large breast, I think it’s hardwired into Men, but I like smaller of average breast.

        Simon does have a point that some of these Women look masculine. The statue of liberty that sort of thing. They seem to have thick bone structure is how I would put it. Women now seem to have a finer, lighter bone structure. Like the difference between a wildebeest and a gazelle (strong contrast just to illustrate. Not saying Greek Women look like wildebeest). In the ancient world the Spartan Women were supposed to be the real hotties among the Greeks. Blond hair and in really good shape. Unfortunately the Spartans were actively against sculpture as it distracted from practicing for war.

        When a woman from Ionia showed vast pride in a bit of her own weaving, which was very valuable, a Spartan woman pointed to her four sons, who were most well-behaved, and said, “Such should be the employments of the good and honourable woman, and it is over these that she should be elated and boastful.”*.html


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